h.darwisyah

Monday 19 October 2015

I don't even know what i'm doing anymore. I no longer care about my health, my feelings, my happiness or anything else. I don'y even know why i'm still alive (yet i;m still grateful), here, breathing right now. I have no motivation to do anything anymore. The daily stress is killing me inside and all the questions, all of the doubts, everything, it just makes me slowly slip into the hurtful feeling and mind again.

Do you ever feel like you're losing your mind? Losing track of times and losing every single thing you've ever had? Like every single string inside of you broke and it feels like being cracked open, hurts like hell but in the end of the day, you feel numb.

I'm faithless and tired of living through this tiring life. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of people;s around me. I'm too tired of being hurt or hurting others.

It breaks me, and it takes my sanity away and it makes me feel smothered and out of my mind, running out of control. Everything I once thought i would be is falling apart. I can't take anymore.

I'm in a mess and i don't believe i'll ever be ok again. Sorrow is the only thing i've got left and i live every day of my life just because i have to, not because i want to. I'm a waste of space.